Most of my posts are a way to deal with the negative in my life, and these quite aptly reflect the kind of person I am – mostly inclined towards the pessimistic side. I am trying to toy around with the few things but at the core, it’s hard to change who I am. This is one such post – even though there is some light and momentum in my life, it’s the empty half that is pinching me badly.
I’ll start off with the good news – I’ve given up my job at the present firm and relocating to a better back office job. Yeah, no front end masala in my life as yet but it is a significant improvement nonetheless.
Now, the other aspect – I would have to move to another city, a costlier city and there is no salary increase. Hence, it pinches. To add insult to injury, I was not the first choice for this role. Some IIM guy was and he rejected it due to low salary and perks. I had made up my mind on rejecting this offer but then my ego caved in. It felt like chewing glass while making this compromise but I guess it’s a price I need to pay.
But I wonder if it’s healthy in the long i.e. to hire a person like me under such circumstances. I am setting foot in a very despicable state of mind, feeling cheated and belittled. I am trying my best to look at the glass half full but it’s not working for now. If the actual work does not turn out to be like the way I have imagined it to be, it would really become a very stinky hole to breathe in. However, the chances for the role to be worse than the present one are quite rare, – given the low bar set in the past.
There are some explicit benefits also – I get more security with this new role, a better platform, a bigger brand name wherein I can launch my career into a plethora of directions in the future. Also, it’s a generic role and will involve learning new skills and stuff. So, that’s exciting.
Some other random stuff….
The salary negotiation process was very uncomfortable as I was doing it for the first time. I had a feeling that HR tried her best as I did reject the first offer they sent. If I had a good job profile, I might have negotiated more acutely. Rejecting it a second time seemed a bit a risky and I never fancied my luck on that. Even the solitary quip by HR – Congratulations and welcome to *#$#@(%(%( drew no reaction from me. I was more focused on controlling my tongue than letting any elation seep in, which was, well, atrophied by the final figure that the HR quoted.
Leaving a set life behind is not easy either, all your friends, the stability and laziness. I guess it’s a new journey and I am feeling the growing pains. I hope I am able to keep my ego in check and get the best out of this opportunity. Till next time…